Full Moon Double Whammy

Today I got the best shot of two different experts, and had a battle with my own demons.

It starts out as a pretty normal day at the clinic. I have fever therapy and hyperthermia. I was anxious to get out of the door by 3:30 -- I'm set to catch a train to Augsburg to learn Tibetan Qi Gong from Frau Dr. Thaller.

But right before I leave, my dendritic cells arrive from the lab -- the centerpiece of my two-week visit here to the Clinic. Tanya rushes me to a treatment table and unwraps the box. Herr Doctor Thaller comes in and inspects the filled syringes that the lab had sent. As he holds up the first syringe, he announces that he has just been invited to demonstrate his injection technique at a clinic in Dublin. There's a certain centeredness and power about him when he wields a needle: he is clearly in his element with them.

So he injects dendritic cells into the skin of my shoulders (apparently the dendritic cells have their greatest effectiveness while in the skin). He injects me ten times on each side, slanting the needle in at a slightly different angle each time, Tanya darting in between jabs to quickly wipe away the single drop of blood that appears at each site.

Then Herr Doctor prepares the second syringe: the immature dendritic cells, to be injected directly into my prostate, where they will encounter the tumor cells that have been marked by the Newcastle Disease Virus. He instructs Tanya in German to prepare a dose of Coley's Toxins for injection into the prostate at the same time. I ask the Dr. in English if I'd heard that correctly -- he says, "Yes, your case is absolutely unique, and this is a perfect opportunity to potentiate the cancer cells in your prostate with the toxins. And if you were to tell this to an immunologist, their eyes would go wide with disbelief!"

I like this guy. He's a modern-day version of a Victorian-era entrepreneur-scientist like Edison or Tesla, moving the experiment at hand forward based on insight and empiricism.

So the injection -- only a few seconds, unpleasant but there it is.

Then the swing begins to the other pole of my day: meeting Frau Dr. Thaller at her apartment in Augsburg for a seminar in Tibetan Qi Gong. I'm looking forward to it immensely -- but for some reason, I am confronted with an absolutely astonishing number of obstacles before I get there. I almost miss the train, I have to take her dog with me on the train, the rental car isn't there, the second rental car has a defective navigator, I drive aimlessly around Augsburg for two hours, missing our appointment, I get lost repeatedly and ridiculously. Finally the tribulations part for a few minutes and I meet Frau Dr. Thaller, she is all smiles and extremely professional and patient. Her studio is an island of calm and centeredness: she teaches me several techniques and implores me to remember that whatever else I am doing, knowing how to properly direct my inner energy is the most important part of my treatment.

After learning a few techniques, I am on my own again -- and whatever forces have collected to try and distract me from this (internal demons? external? just the energy of a strange full moon?) are at work again: I get lost several times -- but this time, the navigator is *literally* instructing me to go around in circles, several times, for miles and miles -- !! I'm not freed from the looping until I ignore the instructions, center myself, repeat Om Namah Shivaya in a loud voice, and drive by blind reckoning to meet Liz an hour and a half away.

Whew. Two powerful techniques to battle the cancer in one day, and then a battle to accept and assimilate them.