Ruh-roh!

Just got my PSA test back for this month, and it doesn't look that great -- it's up to 96.1. It seems clear that I'm going into a hormone-refractory phase, meaning that the Lupron shots that I've been taking off and on (mostly on) for the past year and a half are no longer suppressing the cancer. The Lupron zeros out my testosterone, and the testosterone creates prostate cancer -- until now, when the cancer has (mostly) figured out how to work around the lack of testosterone.

First of all, there *is* a Plan B. My oncologist has put me on ketoconazole (the main ingredient of dandruff shampoo!), which supposedly has a similar effect to Lupron and works for a while even after the Lupron has become ineffective.

Secondly, I am *so* happy to say goodbye to the Lupron. Other than the body blow to my late, lamented libido, it's also been responsible for hot flashes, mental confusion, and occasionally pretty severe depression. Not gonna miss any of that, uh-uh!

Lastly, I'm not as nervous about high PSA scores as I used to be. I've been told that guys can often live for five years with scores this high, as the free-floating PSA doesn't map directly into physical deterioration. And I'm undertaking other, completely unrelated measures (the ayurvedic work) to build up my health -- which is a completely different paradigm than "battling the cancer".